When women say they "like a guy that takes charge" don't they really mean?

I am a bit confused by your question. Personally, I like my husband being in charge, and I enjoy it when he makes his wishes clear to me. I am not sure why you equate being take charge with doing all the work. It isn't supposed to work like that. In a relationship where the man is in charge, he is the captain, and she is the first mate. They should both be putting work into it.